Sajida has applied for a loan for her husband’s business that sells snacks. Her husband chooses to use good quality ingredients in his snacks and that is the reason his snacks sell they way they do and for the price they do. When Sajida has free time she assists her husband in making his snacks. With this loan investment, Sajida's husband will buy snack making ingredients like spices and cooking oils in larger quantities so he will be able to enhance the taste of his snacks and increase his sales. Her husband has been operating his business for many years. Sajida is very confident that this investment will bring positive changes to her husband’s business and increase his income.Sajida and her husband have three children, they are only able to educate one of their children. They have hope that by improving their business they will be able to educate their other children.
One reason you should loan to the Sajida group is because they have proved that they have successful business. Sajida’s husband makes his own snacks with quality ingredients.He has clientele so you know that his business wont go under as long as he keeps making the snacks. The money you lend Sajida and her husband will able them to buy better quality products to make their snacks taste better as well as sell better.
Another reason that you should lend Sajida and her family the money is because their snack business is their only form of income. The better that her husband does with selling his snacks the closer they become to being out of poverty. Getting out of poverty will help them build a better life for themselves and their children. The more successful their business gets the sooner you will get every penny of your money back.
The last reason you should lend the Sajida group money is because if their business becomes more successful and they are able to buy better quality ingredients they will make a lot more money. When they make a lot more money they will be able to send their youngest children to school so they can get an education. You will be bettering their children's lives as well as theirs.
Help the Sajida group overcome poverty!
http://www.kiva.org/lend/379775
This is a clear, concise, complete, and well organized blog post. You've done a great job summarizing the information, but I'm not entirely convinced. Don't be afraid to use what you know about your audience as a persuasive tool, and add more of your own voice to the blog post. Why did you choose this group rather than another?
ReplyDeleteVinny,
ReplyDeleteAt first, you used the work "snacks" too much. It made me feel like I was reading the same sentence over and over again. The last few sentences (from "Sajida is confident...", on.) was fantastic. You grabbed the emotional side of the audience. From that sentence on is where I felt like I really started reading. Overall, you were very clear in your organization, although you did the generic "first, second, last" transitions. This distracted from the validity of your paper because I felt like the rest of the paragraph would be a list of reasons rather than an argument. This is because first, second, and last are usually things you hear in a to-do list. Be careful of that, because otherwise you would've had a fantastic argument.
Your blog post did a really good job of explaining Sajida's situation, and I really enjoyed how in your last paragraph you explained the economic benefits of microfinance, and how capitalism can be used to help struggling individuals who want to work. Nice work!
ReplyDelete